Is the food coma over? Or has round two just begun?

It's day 28 of Nablopomo. I'm drawing a blank over what to talk about. I've realized the more I write on this blog, the fewer intimate things I can talk about. I don't talk about dating because honestly, I won't write about anyone I'm just dating and not in a relationship with. Even if it may be good blog fodder.

Fodder - that's a word, right?

I've also stood my ground about writing anything specific about my job. Except that the market sucks and it's greatly affecting the type of work I'm in.

So besides work and dating, what else do I do? Sleep. Play with Shelby. Watch TLC (which by the way - What Not To Wear marathon on ALL DAY today. Fantabulous). I've basically stopped my exercise routine. I definitely plan to start up again next week, but how much yoga do ya'll want to hear about?

Basically, I'm not sure what I'm writing about anymore. This is supposed to be, "Where's Steph?" Either physically, emotionally, mentally.... WHere am I today? Hard to say. I'm physically at home, although I went over to Laura and Jason's for a few hours for dinner and a rousing game of Mexican Train. 

Emotionally, I think I'm doing ok.  Holidays are hard.  My mind is on the passing of Uncle Vince, of Clair home with her family in NY, and me not in a relationship this year.  I was on my own for years during the holidays and never had a problem with it.  I always looked forward to time with family and seeing friends home from college, but then I had three great holiday years with K and I guess I got used to having someone special around and it made the holidays even nicer.  Honestly, the holidays are a bit empty this year.

Mentally, I feel good.  Feel like i'm paying more attention to the world.  I'm also a totally wiz at the Chronicle crossword puzzles.  I also kicked Jason's ass in the Family Feud (yahoo games version) tonight.

So where are you guys?  How are you doing?

Got a letter today.  I had hoped to receive something but prepared for nothing.  I could hardly breathe when I opened the familiar stationery and my anxiousness was immediately deflated upon reading what was inside.  I don't  think I realized until today that I wanted that door to stay cracked.  But it has been made perfectly clear that the door is closed.  Locked.  Not in an unkind way.  I know this can't revolve around me.  This was probably the last push that I needed to get out of my own way and give someone else a chance.

Yesterday was one of those days where I felt like crawling into a hole. I nice, comfy, big, black hole in which I could cry and scream and kick my feet without anyone hearing me or sending me to the loony bin.  I was so very close to calling a particular someone to see if I might be able to get a hug and a shoulder to cry on for the evening, but I kept myself from doing it.  Told myself it wouldn't be appropriate or helpful.
Last night, right as I was finishing up brushing my teeth, I heard my phone ringing in my room.  I was sure it was a work call, as I had told someone they could call me at 10pm if they had any problems with a project.  It was only 9:35p, but I thought maybe they'd run into a problem earlier than expected.  I dashed to my phone and was pleasantly surprised to see that Particular Someone's name and phone number on the caller ID.  
I actually didn't go into very much detail about what I had been upset about earlier in the day or that I had fought the urge to call this person all afternoon...not sure why.  
I'm always intruiged by moments like this - when there's a connection like this - not just with this person, but in general.  But I'm glad it happened with this person last night.